Jack: Okay, who’s with me? Who am I with? Bob: Me. Jack: Really? Wade: You can all see rotation lock on these props. Jack: Hey Bob? Bob? Bob: Hey, what’s up? Hey friend? Jack: Hi Bob! Bob: Do you wanna – Hey – listen. listen. Do you want to find props, or do you want to go drive a truck? Jack: uhh, truck. Duh. Bob: Bro, come with me. Jack: Got it. Wade: You guy’s thirsty? Brewski? Jack: No! I want to drive a truck. Bob: We have no time for you walking beer. Wade: No, please! Wade: Drink and drive. [All laugh] Jack: Okay, I’ll hop in the back you drive me papa. Bob: Is this the kinda – is the kinda truck Disney XP is looking for Wade? Wade: yeah Mark: Disney XP? Bob: DXP Bro.
Wade and I – Wade and I got that Disney channel money now. Wade: Disney DMXP would love this. Jack: DMXP Mark: [As Filthy Frank] Disney gonna’ give it to ya. Jack: [copies Mark] [Bob laughs Jack: [as Mickey Mouse] First we’re going to rock, then we’re going to roll! [Bob continues laughing] Jack: DRIVE THE TRUCK! Bob: I’m trying. How’d you do that? You’re a wizard? Jack: Wait… something’s moving – something’s moving – wait wait… Jack: Something’s moving. I don’t know where it is. I’m goin a search for it. Jack: [sniffs] It’s over here. It’s over here Jack: Something over here moved. Bob: I don’t think that’s right Wade: That hay you’re stepping on’s moving right now Jack: I fuck’n knew it. SHOOT IT! Jack: SHOOT IT! Bob: MURDER IT! Jack: Okay. I think we got it. Wade: You show that hay who’s boss.
That’s right asshole! Jack: Wait, it’s moving! SHOOT IT! [Mark laughs] Jack: SHOOT IT! Mark: Nooooo! Stacey(?) AHHHHH! Bob: Sir, uhh – look – We’re gonna file the paperwork it was a police… Jack: SHOOT IT! SHOOT IT! [Screams] Mark: It was instigated! I’m gonna tell everybody. Bob: That hay bail had a knife, or something. Mark: WHAT?! WHAT DID YOU DO TO STEVE? Jack: I’m sorry he’s acting up… [indistinct] Jack: They’re everywhere Jack: BOB! Mark: Why are you just making me watch this?? Bob: I’m intimidated right now. I can’t. Jack: I’m scared by talking inanimate objects. Wade: [weakly] Ohh, call the police… Bob: Sir – Sir – put the gun down. Sir – Put the gun down. Jack: CEASE AND DESIST! CEASE AND DESIST! Bob: Resisting arrest! Jack: CEASE AND DESIST! Bob: RESISTING ARREST! Ohh, he disappeared. [BOOM] Bob: That’s the kind of light-hearted humor people come to our channels to watch. Mark: Absolutely Wade: [crying] I’ve got tears in my eyes…
Mark: Wade, what kind of bit should we do here? [indistinct] Wade: Well, we’ve already reached our peak for the day. Jack: Drink and drive does not get any better. Bob: That was fuck’n edgy bro. You have no idea. Jack: You sure you weren’t a knife prop that round. because that had edge. Bob: Ahh shit, son. Jack: Bob where are you? Bob: I’m over here. I’m over here. Mark: Hello fellow atheist abortionist. How are you doing? Mark: You ready to go kill some babies? [Bob laughs] Wade: [In a demon voice] YES I AM Jack: oh, fck’n Christ. Wade: [In demon voice] THIS IS WHAT WE ALL SOUND LIKE Jack: He said – fellow abortionist, this is what we all sound like. mark, bob: [laughing] Jack: Clearly not… You’re ruining the premise of your own joke. [All Laugh] Wade: [Demon voice] You must have a cold you don’t sound like Bob: Wha? Wade: [demon voice] Christian Bale Mark: Yeah, sorry, haven’t killed enough babies this week Mark: Back in the- Bob: Wade, why is everything that wade says is like a bad metal song? Mark,Jack: [laughing] Wade: [demon voice] just got this money looking for some frogs Mark: [still laughing] Mark: [oh no it spreads] Wade, I think I saw a baby over here.
[yay its gone] Oh Jack: Oh sweet jesus what was that? Mark: [demon voice] Find the baby, Jack: [laughing] What was that? Mark: [demon voice] di- that was a baby Mark: [demon baby] If I ever heard one Jack: That was a giggly baby steady still steady, so so well, maybe maybe baby, maybe It’s all of us no instruments or anything. That’s all of us wait. I’m one of you That’s what I call. Why no, I don’t know actually I’m one of you Bernie Holy fuck dude. That’s overkill oh we had a bad Sorry, I was fucking my daughter you did Over by the Red truck yeah, yeah, I’m by the tool bench so uh Okay, I’ve been alive. Oh look he didn’t die. Oh, baby, baby. Hey, I know what a boss with you guys.
I can’t in my Study something – head bangs. Oh Really hey, baby, baby, baby very well. Oh there. We go. Hey there, baby. That was many people Martin fussing over here baby, Reggie. Thank you baby, oh monkey Now Jack ignore them. We’re here to promote. We are double your local win, I know Come here. Come here. I finally found a way to fulfill all of our dream. What is that? I’m gonna stop spinning for a small business We’ve always dreamed of having a family And we finally have one our baby is a barrel of laughs I like those other two fuckers Oh my God, you pick it over. I’m sorry Okay, I got great. What is it pop straighten it out put it on. What is it the one champion. Yeah? I’m gonna set the baby up. It’s like go. Oh God which one’s our baby And we have no radiation e or woody oh No, if this is this one buddy imposter, baby Gotta make baby our baby won’t have falling apart of the guys.
I’m stuck you’re stuck. Oh here. We go today We’re here from Child protective services All right, we’re on the road right baby. Okay, wait wait, okay? I got it officer saw here are know already the baby here. Oh, no Here’s our baby start abusing these bees. Take it away, sir. Oh Don’t be to kick your baby wait No view that without protective services you guys are not trying to protect the services Amparo I have a control in the back tire leg defenses.
Don’t bleed oh I knew it Right yeah, we’re here wait wait. No sniff this bullet, or sniffing. II wanna. Go make her a bit I don’t like this bit okay. Oh Dammit, we’re sticking with it That’s the problem with the way that twitch is trying to get its partners money then maybe you should tell them in an email or something less insane and blowing everyone up I get at A bit pun I get it. Yeah, oh not cuz I was big. This is my a material I hate all these jokes. I was an accountant and better friends About the guys I found I thought of a new joke. Oh there you are. I’m coming right ok alright So you see me right here right? Yeah, ok right? Hi, I’m paint can I help you? Oh? I better you better get a good joke ok you got it okay? Oh, no, it’s so hard to control my stool Alright, okay.
I like that one give another oh my God. I shoot him like that with that joke Corny you get you get corn in your stool because it just digest properly oh, I had one our jokes. What’s down in my urine Yeah, that’s all do a good joke gotta find some good jokes. Ha ha hey. I ain’t counsel you have to explain It’s active are your good job man.
Thanks me? Sick jokes Ben I request that you perform on stage. Ok ok all right? We need to get our designation a state We need to build a stage all right. We’re gonna build you guys a hey stage Just Sayin all right well let’s start like right here And then we can we can stand over here and watch all right. Where do you want to warm up again grip? that top There I’m gonna be like the shit on the tour. Yeah you know I can feel boy this is literally how they warm up for Improv, so This is them being there all the big momma oh, yeah oh Buddha this is oh Yeah, wait people didn’t pay tickets for that, right uh Or did oh no every thought no refund all right? Thanks, honesty all right. I’m ready the car seat check our seats ready. Roll. All right sandy. Yeah Well, thanks man body’s okay.
I got my I’m gonna go up in the ballet wait Wait, that’s one of you. I need a beer. Yeah, bring me beer. Oh here I’ll shoot you and come on this fuckin seat. Oh, okay get over there All right perform all right then hi. I’m pink can I help you oh? Yeah, I like that you like that. That’s funny knock her out a small bit on that one what no one cover I look at that drew. We’re 50 on that one. We’re 5050 on that What else you out? What else you got what else you got okay? All right? Yeah, beer makes there any funnier here haven’t I will kill you get back on stage? Don’t touch me anymore that makes me really unhappy You’re the perform got quite a colorful personality Wait, wait wait wait.
We got to convene Okay, we think it’s okay All right, okay. Oh my God. I fell out of my seat. It was so funny Wow, whoa. Edge of his seat edge of a seat everybody okay? Yeah, let wait in on it You can hear it you hit really good. You can change places you. Thanks. Lay back. Thank you good job uh Drink me If you think that you were believed cuz you are not bleep You you were oil Ring me oh, God You guys you guys alright, okay? Okay? We’re good. We’re good. We’re good. You can’t wait you got your okay? Are you what you need to be? No, I’m still I’m still putting the other my eggs and go to the stage, okay, okay? I mean, it’s sort of like whatever all abducted someone come help me. I got stuck we’re Loose I’m on. Oh fuck. I’m stuck oh I know that same thing because this is the stage this is the stage here now the stage of our fucking misery wait How is that a stage what I was just making a penis? I guess it’s not really the same thing fine Whatever I can be finished My your names are not secure.
I don’t know if I can perform on there. Oh this is a real shit ah No, no changing, okay right here, and okay are we good yeah Someone’s walking around I’m sorry I oh Wait, what’s up slide? As we get me to do that ah? Where you asshole? I was trying to zoom in to look ahead. All right wade masterji remember whether you’re hilarious idea. Yeah wade What? get up there get on up up go on they were so eager to take control of the situation and then Once what Brilliant lies beneath the dumb facade of your face.
Oh? Shit, oh shit. You didn’t even go to have a song I have a song for you which one of you I’m this me mark, okay? You’re good. Well nice to meet you. Shake. Shake nice to meet you too. Hi chuckle. Thank you. Shake. Shake. Thanks So what is your apology song I’m desperate to know I Babies yes, I do Don’t you love me? Whoo-Hoo-Hoo, please, please don’t shoot me Babies Dom Domina can I kill them can I please I? Can we confer about this okay here? Let’s talk to mark thing. What do you think I suggest? Whoa, whoa you guys did a minute? I do not even stand down. She like here better time to market.
Oh here. Oh Let me do this in front of mark. Okay, right, okay? No, we’re listening. Oh, I talk that’s how it okay. I’m now the market area Mary when she can hear the ocean Sea wave okay. Well it wasn’t what did you think oh, shut up? What do you think Mike? I thought he kind of just did another song that he kind of did on the tour Yeah, God damn it.
We should go back to the killing babies, bit that was always a crowd-Pleaser, maybe maybe Angry everyone everyone loves that trust me Watermelon baby t. Dude let’s uh let’s be friends. Okay. I can t be friends. What’s in it for me? ah all of the Sharp prickly hey you want But guys first let me ask you a question. Oh guys I I just don’t see good barely made it what can I do for you? That’s a good one boom done to me You’re not going to coffee.
Sue him over that a piece of garbage Hey Turd, ha ha ha No right now. No, I’m sorry That was a good heart around a bit. I benton I miss crunchy ones.
As found on Youtube